Invulnerability
Unfortunately, I would have never learnt what I say now without being on the verge of dying and without being on a wheel chair. I think it is very valuable to come to the realization of this condition and be able to appreciate it through my story.
Let me give you the scripts of the video now:
We believe we are invulnerable to experience what we call “bad” events.
For example, a student will never understand the reason why he got a bad qualification or almost all drivers have the conviction that they will never be involved in a traffic accident.
When the doctor informed me that there was 96 percent of chance to die or that in the best results I would be blind, deaf, dumb, without the senses of smell and taste and with no possibility to walk again, the first thing I asked was: “Why is this happening to me?” That question only shows that we feel invincible, invulnerable to those kinds of diseases.
There was no reason NOT to have a tumor or NOT to suffer a complication on my surgery. Neither, there was no reason NOT to suffer a cerebral stroke, there was no reason NOT to have all these after effects. Therefore, my question was bad formulated from its basis.
A nun, the sister Pierina, taught me the right question is “Why not me?” Then, I realized I had never done anything to become invincible. In fact, there is no person able to do it.
So, just like everyone, I was vulnerable to something like that. I am not the exeption.
That made me think a lot about my vulnerable condition and I realized that invulnerability is not a gift we can apply for, not a prize we get as a reward for our acts. It is just an utopia that escapes away from our hands.
I asked a friend and patient from the same Rehabilitation Centre I was, to write an email to me, telling me the first impression she had of me. To read it, made me shiver. We never expect others to have that vision about us besides we are not able to see ourselves as we really are because we always put the desire of what we want to see in front of our eyes.
I am going to read it while I share a video that was recorded during her farewell party.
“David, when you arrived in the clinic, I felt curiosity to see you because they said you had few chances to survive. When I saw you I almost cried and I wanted to run away not to see you anymore. I was scared to death. I had the feeling they were going to say at anytime ‘the new a patient is dead’. You were very haggard, with wild eyes. One day I went to see you and you made me a signal with one of your fingers. The sound of the television was bothering you and I saw there was a tear on your cheek”.
